Troll time 👀
| 💰 GET PAID  You see a lot of headlines these days fretting the "Great Resignation" and all the headaches it's causing for hiring managers. Every single month, from July through October, more than 4 million people have just straight up quit their jobs.
That may be a crisis for the boss, but there's a silver lining for workers that's not getting as much attention: Your job security has never been better.
Firings and layoffs have essentially ground to a halt, my colleague Chris Isidore reports. The reason is simple: there are far more job openings than job seekers, so employers are willing to hang onto workers they otherwise might have let go in the past.
Key points
THE TAKEAWAY We're not suggesting you start slacking off or coming in late because you can. But if ever there were a time to ask for a raise, or some extra vacation days, or some more flexibility in terms of remote work, now is it.
Your boss knows you have options – there are 11 million job openings in the US right now – and they know that finding someone to replace you is both time consuming and expensive. So don't be afraid to ask for what you want and demand what you need.
#️⃣ NUMBER OF THE DAY $3 trillion Apple is about a buck away from becoming the world's first $3 trillion company. The stock needs to hit $182.85 to make Apple the first publicly traded company ever to hit such a lofty valuation. What's wild is that it's only taken three years for Apple to triple in value. It first crossed the $1 trillion threshold in August 2018 and passed $2 trillion in August 2020.
👀 TROLLING  Time magazine named Elon Musk its "Person of the Year," prompting a predictable caterwaul online, with all the tired reminders that Hitler also held the title, and Stalin, too (twice), and that getting it wasn't necessarily an honor, and so on.
Time referred to Musk's persona as "a blunt instrument that often seems to revel in division and aggressive mockery." It also called him a "clown, genius, edgelord, visionary, industrialist, showman." Super accurate.
A lot of people were angry over the choice because they don't like Elon Musk, and honestly, yeah, he's not a likable guy, so I get it. But, like, when was Person of the Year ever super insightful or provocative?
Historically, the title goes to someone, or several someones, who are already very famous. Time isn't out here looking for the coolest or smartest or most interesting person in our culture — it's taking a universally well-known figure and slapping an arbitrary title on them to stir up people's love and hate for that person. Elon Musk isn't a controversial choice; he's an obvious, extremely boring choice. The world's richest person. Space entrepreneur. Eccentric genius-slash-man-child.
In a way, Time is simply trolling us all with a story that elevates the world's trolliest mega-billionaire. And honestly, I respect the hustle. Rake in those clicks, comrades.
QUOTE OF THE DAY  It's a Darwinian struggle for space in the supermarket or in the convenience store. Coca-Cola CEO James Quincey has upset a lot of niche beverage fans. That's because Quincey is relentlessly eliminating underperforming brands from Coke's portfolio — RIP, Odwalla, Tab, Zico, et al. He hears the outrage, but he stands by the strategy. "No matter how close you get to a brand, how much history you have with it, you have to be willing to make the rational decision for the benefit of the bigger portfolio," he told Danielle Wiener-Bronner in an interview for CNN Business' Risk Takers series.
WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON? 🚲 Days after the "Sex and the City" reboot caused a dust-up with Peloton — the details of which I will not divulge here in case you, like me, hate spoilers so much it makes your blood boil — the home fitness company released an ad that effectively claps back at the show. Just to be clear: big spoilers ahead if you click this link.
🏆 The Rivian R1T has just been awarded the 2022 MotorTrend Truck of the Year Award.
🔌 General Motors is stuck with the Bolt, for better or worse.
📺 Chris Wallace is leaving Fox News to become an anchor on CNN+, the network's new streaming service.
📈Despite anxiety about inflation and the Omicron variant, the stock market is on track for another banner year. That's in large part thanks to stellar gains from just five companies.
TWEET OF THE DAY 
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