Good morning. Here's the best advice that readers received this year. |
 | | María Jesús Contreras |
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One of my favorite New Year's traditions is writing resolutions for other people. Tonight, if you're with a group of friends or loved ones or strangers who are down for one last New Year's Eve reindeer game, hand out slips of paper and instruct the assembled to write a resolution for the year. Put the papers in a hat, pass the hat, everyone draws one. |
One year I received the resolution to always put my clothes away at the end of the day, rather than letting them pile up on a chair. A friend was to rise from bed every morning, waggle their fingers and say, "It's showtime!" The resolutions can be whimsical or reflective. They can be things the author would like to resolve themselves or things they think would be good for others to try. It turns the rather dreary exercise of making (often self-punishing) resolutions into something exciting: an exchange of gifts, a gesture of community. |
A resolution for all of us: Take some of the good advice below. These words of wisdom came in response to my request for your nontraditional, highly specific bests of 2022. (Read Part 1 of readers' faves here.) |
In your closet and your life, subtract whenever you add. — Mary Shanklin, Winter Garden, Fla. |
From the "Ten Percent Happier" podcast: Stop and recognize happy moments when you're in the middle of them. Literally stop and say out loud, "This is a happy time." It's a way to ground yourself in the joyful parts of your life. We do this with moments of trauma and crisis all the time. Maybe we should flip that script. — Mary Guzzetta, Pittsburgh |
You don't have to identify with your feelings. — Rori Quinonez, Toledo, Ohio |
The best advice I received this year was to stretch my calves regularly. It cured my mild knee pain. — Nicole Byer, Simsbury, Conn. |
Parent the child you have. As a parent of a child with special needs, this is my mantra. But this is also true of any child. Stop trying to make your child quieter, louder, more outgoing, more interested in things their sibling likes and appreciate the unique and individual small person you've been given. — Sue Lanigan, East Aurora, N.Y. |
Everyone is going through something. — Rose Fischietto, Macedonia, Ohio |
Dance often, host parties. This advice occurred to me and my friend after a million hours of discussing our pandemic depressions and dating lives. We made lists of the best bars with non-pretentious dance scenes we wanted to try out and themed parties we wanted to host. — Emily Kennedy, Brooklyn |
If there is an issue bothering me, I think to myself, "Will this still be an issue in one week or in one month?" If the answer is no, it's a small problem so I let the stress go and move on. — LaNae Williams, East Lansing, Mich. |
If you didn't have to keep working, would you? — Tom Myers, Holden Beach, N.C. |
After my son and his fiancée were involved in an automobile accident in Spain, a friend told me I would need to learn how to practice "powerless mothering." Following several spinal cord surgeries and six months of challenging rehabilitation, my son's sweetheart has slowly regained strength and mobility in her upper body, but she remains paralyzed from the waist down, and my grown son has become a loving caregiver. My friend's advice has helped me see that I can still be a supportive mother without any power to change their new world. — Candice Dale, South Portland, Maine |
The best marriage advice: Binge shows and movies in separate rooms. — Juli Leber, New York City |
When the wrench is on the nut, tighten it. In other words, if you're already touching a piece of mail, deal with it. If you see a thing you'll need soon, buy it now. If an uncomfortable conversation comes up, have it rather than deflecting it. — Kasia Maroney, Trumansburg, N.Y. |
The best way to make a decision: Does it light me up? — Robyn Pichler, Weaverville, N.C. |
I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days is 100 percent, and that's pretty good. — Hudson, San Diego |
Put 10 pennies in your left pocket. Find something for which you are grateful. Move one penny to your right pocket. You should find all pennies have moved to the right pocket at the end of the day. Celebrate. — Mike Wilson, Sedona, Ariz. |
Stop reaching for people who aren't reaching back. — Katya Davidson, Portland, Ore. |
Just because you can do something doesn't mean you have to do it, or that it's good for you. — Divya Rao Heffley, Pittsburgh |
Be where your feet are. — Submitted by both Pattie Saunders, Portland, Ore., and Kelly Kammerer, New York City |
 | | Barbara Walters in 1976.Barton Silverman/The New York Times |
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 | | Pope Benedict XVI in 2012.Edgard Garrido/Reuters |
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📺 "Madoff: The Monster of Wall Street" (Wednesday): I've been absorbed by news about Sam Bankman-Fried, the former cryptocurrency exec facing fraud charges over the collapse of his crypto exchange, FTX. He's often compared (perhaps imperfectly) to Bernie Madoff, the subject of this new documentary series on Netflix. I, like everyone else you know, am a sucker for a suspenseful crime story, and this one comes from one of the best: the filmmaker behind the "Paradise Lost" docs, Joe Berlinger. |
🎶 The Zombies, "This Will Be Our Year" (1968): First thing on New Year's Day, I like to listen to this energizing anthem — ideally more than once and played at top volume — singing along with gusto. I know some prefer "This Year," by the Mountain Goats, which I'll allow is also an excellent song about a year, but its refrain, "I am gonna make it through this year if it kills me," doesn't bring the same optimism as "Now we're there, and we've only just begun. This will be our year, took a long time to come." Listen to the songs as a pair for all the pluck you need to meet 2023 head on. |
 | | Craig Lee for The New York Times |
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It's New Year's Eve! Do you need a last-minute hors d'oeuvre to accompany all that bubbly you've got in the fridge? This smoked salmon spread with capers is celebratory, fancy, incredibly quick and easy — key points since, by now, you don't have much time to plan. Amanda Hesser's original recipe called for fromage blanc, but easier-to-find sour cream or whole milk Greek yogurt will work just as well. You just need something creamy and tangy to lighten all the cream cheese. Serve this with a sliced baguette, radishes, or crackers on the side. (Triscuits are my personal favorites.) And if you happen to be serving caviar to usher in 2023, this velvety spread would make a delightful cushion underneath. |
A selection of New York Times recipes is available to all readers. Please consider a Cooking subscription for full access. |
 | | Traci Daberko |
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Housing market hangover: Home prices, inventory and mortgage rates may not move much to start 2023. |
The Hunt: They wanted a versatile one-bedroom in Chicago for about $200,000. Which option did they choose? Play our game. |
What you get for $2.8 million: An Edwardian house in Portland, Ore.; a Colonial Revival in Belmont, Mass.; or a 1910 farmhouse in Chevy Chase, Md. |
 | | The dance floor at Loner, a club on VRChat.via VRChat |
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Wine glasses in the dishwasher |
We tend to think of the dishwasher as a dangerous place for delicate objects. But the manufacturers of some of the thinnest, most expensive wine glasses Wirecutter has tested recommended putting them in the dishwasher over hand-washing. The truth is that you're more likely to break your stemware by knocking it against the sink or torquing the handle as you scrub the bowl. So when the toasts are over tonight, go ahead and load those glasses into the top rack. Just be sure to use rinse aid to avoid water spots. — Marguerite Preston |
No. 2 Michigan vs. No. 3 T.C.U. college football semifinal: Three of the teams in the College Football Playoff — Georgia, Ohio State and Michigan — are historical powers in the sport. And then there's T.C.U., which last won a championship in the 1930s. The Horned Frogs went 5-7 last year and weren't expected to be much better this year. Max Duggan, last season's quarterback, lost his starting job to a transfer. But when an injury thrust Duggan back into the lineup, he seized the chance. His offense was one of the best in the country, averaging more than 40 points a game, and one of the most exciting, with five second-half comebacks. 4 p.m. Eastern today on ESPN. |
The pangram from yesterday's Spelling Bee was trillionth. Here is today's puzzle. |
Thanks for spending part of your weekend with The Times. — Melissa |
Correction: Yesterday's newsletter incorrectly said that the movie "Titanic" came out 24 years ago. It was 25 years. |
Lauren Hard, Lauren Jackson, Claire Moses and Tom Wright-Piersanti contributed to The Morning. You can reach the team at themorning@nytimes.com. |
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